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No. 1 Heartbreak Roll

Tuna roll with bitter melon. Unfertilized salmon roe.

Please include name, address, and known associates of former lover. 75% upcharge to include the home-wrecking tramp they left you for.

No. 2 Chauvenist Pigs In A Blanket

Finely chopped sausage with jalapeno. Served flaming.

Please include photo w/ fedora. For an extra $50 you can assist in preparation.

No. 3 S.S. Tanya Harding Sushi Boat

Up to five different rolls. Kneecaps a specialty. During cheer season please call one day ahead.